I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
