But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Blow job season was short but glorious.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
