is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
