So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Randomize