I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
