Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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