P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
people are starting to question the shark bite story
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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