I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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