Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize