when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
