Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
