Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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