I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.