So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.