my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
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We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
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Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.