Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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