i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
