69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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