Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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