Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
