Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
