It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
