You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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