well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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