Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
where are you?
Hypothermia
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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