im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
