apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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