real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
