Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
