I take back everything I said about communal showers
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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