you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
