he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize