How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
