Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
