Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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