I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
