I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
