Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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