Are we in a gay sports bar?
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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