If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
