I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
