I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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