I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
