Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize