I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
