please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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