Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
