apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
