you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
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When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
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I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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