can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
