I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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