why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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