I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
