this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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