I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
