my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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