Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
