Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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