I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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