not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Do vagina's smell?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
