I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
