hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
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