and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize