and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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