You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
