Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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