I showed him my bush... on skype.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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