like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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